- Have you got a boyfriend?

- Yes.

- What’s his name?

- Dolph. He’s good at table tennis.

- What about you?

- No. Afraid not.

-Why not?

-Don’t know. Because most of the blokes I fancy think l’m stupid and pointless, so they just bonk me and then leave me, and the kind of blokes that do fancy me, I think are drips. I can’t even be bothered to bonk them, which does sort of leave me a bit nowhere.

-What’s bonking?

-Well, it’s kind of like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.

/Elvis ger 4 bröllop och en begravning 4 maränger